shika's Talent
by demon thing
Summary: sidefic to crush requested, its a crack people don't take too seriously, femnaru no pairings konohahighschool story well middle school, Shika is pranked into doing the school talent show with talent as drag please R R especially if you read crush
1. Chapter 1

Shika's Talent show.

Shikamaru woke up that morning with a bad feeling swirling in the pit of his stoumach, the twelve year old curled closer to his blankets to try to laz-away his bad vibes, but his mother came bursting in five minates later waving a efather duster like it was a deadly weapon _in her hadns it might as well be_ he though as he yawned and agreed with whatever his mother was saying, before getting up, slowly, and walking to the bathroom for his morning shower. when he was showered and dressed in his school uniform, a white shirt with a dark blue blazer over the top and matching trousers with black shoes, he sat at the table and slowly chewed through the toast still with the feeling of impending doom looming over his shoulder, the doorbel rang and his mom answered and in bounded a blur of orange and yellow.

"Shikamaru!!" yelled his friend.

"Naruto, be queit." he muttered at her feeling that his bad day was going to be something to do with his friend of a year and a halfish, he then saw that she had been followed by his best friend Chouji, that loudmouth annoyance Kiba and a girl with pink hair... sakura that was it, the girl had only just started hanging around them. Naruto was wearing an orange sailor suit and sakura was wearing a pink one. Kiba nd chouji were wearing the same as him, except kiba's was black and chouji's was a dark red colour, that was the great thing about their school was that they could wear any colour they wanted but it had to be the same design, only Naru seemed to go against that by wearing black platform boots making her a few inches taller than she actually was and wristbands, her hari was tied back into two ponytails on the back of her head., the pinkette had a ribbon on top of her head to keep all but her fringe from her face, and her hair reached her waist, her forehead was large but no one really noticed unless she pionted it out. Kiba's brown hair was all over the place and he had drawn two red triangles under his eyes across his cheeks in facepaint, he was getting quite practised at that, Shikamaru noticed. getting up out of his oh so comfortable sitting position he pulled his shoulder legth brown hair into a ponytail at the top of his head where it stuck up slightly. checking his reflection breifly just to make sure no one had snuck intop his room and dye his hair blue or green or red or something crazy like that (cough) Naruto (cough).

"So, what're we doing today?" asked the blonde with excitement as though they were going somewhere exciting.

"school..." answered shika monotonously, making Naru and kiba groan. "what were you expecting?"

"wouldn't you like to know?" said kiba as his and Naru's faces went evil, and shika realised what his bad feeling was about.

"What have you done then?" he asked resigned to his fate, they grinned evilly.

"why shika-kun i honestly don't know what you're talking about..." said Naruto as innocently as was possible.

"don't be naive naru, i know you guys enough to know when you've pulled a prank."

"us? do something so dishonest and dis repectfull towards our beloved peers, why shikamaru, i don't know how you can think such things of us!!" said Kiba just as innocently as Naruto , Chouji laughed a little at their act, they were a good team but only when they had a mutual goal, for example, pranks. Sakura looked from one side of the argument to the other, she really didn't know what to think about her newest freinds, she was joining different clubs when she came the school only a few weeks before and then she joined one of the sports team where she thought she fit in with these two, it wasn't the club for her, but they invited her to join them for lunch when they saw her eating alone and now here she was two weeks later, them not having gotten tired of her yet, or at least she didn't think so.

"sakura-chan whould we, pull a prank on Shikamaru when we have a test first and no one else to cheat off of?" said naru looking as innocent as possible with puppy dog eyes, which she pulled off rather well.

"Ahh... eto... you could always pull it off after first i suppose..." Naru puffed out her cheeks like a puffer fish or a frog when sakura didn't stand up for her, then they gave up the act.

"fine there's a prank!!" she said throwing her arms up in the air.

"yeah, but we're not telling you when or where, it'll be when you least expect it..." said kiba mysteriously pulling a flashlight out of nowhere and holding it in front of his face like he was telling a scary story. he was the one who freaked sakura out most, although he was harmless, he was very strange. Naru wasn't much better though.


	2. Chapter 2

shika's talent2

Shikamaru was getting nervous, it was almost last period if they had a prank usually it was between classes or during lunch or morning brek, but nothing not even hide nor hair of one. they hadn't mentioned it, and he wasn't going to bring it up, just in case they had forgotton unlikly as it was. naru had once forced him to stay up all night with Kiba and her to pelt her next door neighbor with water ballons when he closed his windows at midnight, and when he opened them again in the morning, they were laughing so hard, there was another guy with them that time what was his name? Gaara that's it red hair and aquamarine eyes, completely emotionless. _damn_ he thought as the bell went, he had swapped seats with someone near the door so he could get to his next class before Kiba and Naru had a chance to get ahead of him, ambush him and stuff im in a sack with a rabid pack of man eating hamsters. And yet now he was too late there they were all ready to go _with_ him to class, he watched them uneasily, the blonde looked innocently back as though wondering what was bothering him at this time of day, and kiba was trying to keep a straight face but his mouth kept curling up into a smile. _'well...'_ he thought _'may as well get this over with.'_ he had too much experience with watching and being on the wrong end of their pranks that he was surprised they were still freinds, and to know that it was useless running from they'd get you sooner or later. he stood up with a resigned sigh and followed them out and down the corridor every minate expecting something, but still nothing, at least not until the bell was five minates away from signaling the end of the day one of the younger students walked in with a note for shikamaru to go immediatly to the drama teachers room, as well as another student, damn he hated that guy he was so active, he never sat down and had about ten cffee's in the morning alone each with about five sugars in each. '_troublesome'_ when he exited the classroom, he failed to notice the two pranksters highfiving, and trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

He got to the drama room in one peice and noticed that other people, the teaher bounded in looking as though he was a bout to explode from a sugar high. "welcome, welcome, i'm glad all of you wanted to show off your wonderful talents and share them with the world!!" he did a strange pirrouret and almost fell over in the process, everyone sweatdropped except Shika _'A talent show?!'_ he was going to kill them after slowly and painfully toruring them so that they beg for death. they were now passing around the forms so that they knew when and where and what was happening, he looked at his to find out his talent... drag?? oh now they were in for it, if it wasn't too much effort to do so he was going to tie them and ahang them out the window of the highest building he could find by their ankles. That was until he came up with another brilliant scheme, why not just pretend he wasn't bothered after all that was when a prank backfired when no one cared, he smirked, and when this was over oh how he was going to make them suffer.

:-short timeskip-:

Shikamaru walked out of the school still engrossed in his plans for revenge walked out of the school gates only to be met with giggling whispers.

"you think he's amd?"

"Well either that or else... well why wouldn't he be?" kiba and naru laughed louder this time, loud enough for Shika to determine their position (behind the biffa bins) and roll his eyes at their childishness, then he said just loud enough for them to hear.

"hmmm? well i have that red dress that i wore at christmas, then theres that green one chouji said that one looked good on me..." he kept his mutterings so that they sounded as though he was just thinking aloud but still loud enough that his freinds could hear. as he walked away there was no more hushed laughter from their position, instead it was hushed whispers.

:-another timeskip til the next day-:

The long haired brunnette sat on his favourite spot in the school, the roof, staring at the clouds thinking about their likeness to things, he knew well, with chouji sitting next to him munching on crisps. he was unexpectedly pitched into shadow when two figures stood above him both with the same stern expression and both with their arms folded over their chests. he raised a hand in salute. "hey." he said sitting up, and leaning back on the heels of his hands.

"we know you knew we were there." said Naru, in scarily the same voice his mother used when she was about to go into the kitchen and tell the dinner about how he was misbehaving.

"So?" they merely blinked expressions unchanging. "what if i knew you knew i knew you were there?" another blink.

"well, then..." began Kiba " we knew that you knew that we knew that you knew that we were there...?" Him and naruto lost their matching expressions as she looked at the shorter haried brunette confused.

"huh?" the blonde asked, none to politely.

"what was your point?" he asked in a bored voice lying back own again. chouji watching all the drama, with the only tension showing that he was munching if possible a little faster.

"If you back out... We'll dye your mum's hair bright green." he sighed, thinking 'so what?' as Kiba finished.

"And we'll make it look lie you did it." added naruto.

"Jeez you guys..." he said then muttered "troublesome." before agreeing and ignoring them as they highfived and congratulated each other.

_**Well it's not really funny so far, just normal stuff really, but the next chapter is the show so be sure to tune into fm987.334tq56g1 whenever iv'e gotten the chance to read the next one kk. tell me what you think so far cos it makes me happy.**_


	3. Chapter 3

shika's talent3

It was the day of the talent show and Kiba and Naru made sure to get front row seats to watch their friend publicly humiliate himself, Chouji had brought a camera!!. They watched through the first few acts completely bored and prepped up for when Shikamaru came on stage, anticipated the moment knowing what he was wearing but every time they pictured it laughed so much that they began chocking, and Naruto lost the ability to breathe. The student who was serving as the announcer came on stage and shyly announced Shikamaru, then going bright red as he mis-pronounced several words almost fled from the stage crying. Then came the main attraction, and the usually spiky haired brunette walked onto the makeshift stage the middle school sometimes used, with his hair down around his shoulders and decorated with a few girl hair clips Sakura had donated and Naru had strictly refused to owning when they asked her, and the pink dress that settled on his shoulders and hips flaring out a little at the knee where it ended, most of the parent body had froze, refusing to believe that they had let a boy go on stage dressed like that, the look was completed by a matching scarf, bag and sandals. overwhelmed by the sight before them an that they themselves had caused this both Naruto and Kiba burst into hysterics startling most of the other people in the hall, Kiba was trying really hard not to pis his pants and Naruto was doubled taking a chocking breath every three minutes or so. Sakura was trying to hide her blushes and giggles behind her hands, Chouji was trying not to laugh in the first place failing miserably though. Shikamaru was looking at his other guffawing classmates, god he was never going to live this down.

_'Not in this life time, or the next.'_

His mind told him in a voice that bore a lazy resemblance to his dad. even some of the parents had begun snorting a little bit, mostly men who resisted though as they tryed to imagine being put through that kind of thing, and grimaced. he sighed and cleared his throat, immediately gaining everyone's attention and he braced himself for his next bit show himself off a bit, he was wearing his mom's sandals and they weren't comfortable they had two inch heels, but it felt like so much more.

"Um... hi. My name is Shikamaru, and my talent is drag..." _'troublesome'_ he though as this sentence induced more laughter.

He was pretty sure he had seen Kiba wet himself, and Naru was now turning slightly purple in the face as she struggled to breathe they were the worst so everyone he wasn't really paying much attention to, except trying to find the person that wolf-whistled at him. the next bit was going to be the most difficult he had gone over the strategy in his mind but it was always so much harder in practice than in theory, he walked a bit towards the edge of the 'stage', which was really just a few tabled pushed together cos the school board was too cheap to come up with a real one, which was safe but he still didn't feel comfortable in those shoes and right at the last minate he stumbled and while trying to regain his balance fell down right where severa student had stored their insrument, one inluded one of those huge drums that were used for parades and stuff, unfortunatly he fell dirrectly into it breaking the skin and the bottom of the dress following the laws of physics and exposing his girls underwear which Kiba and Naruto had dared him to wear before he had gone up, probably some form of karma he had earned in a past life. he could hear the raised volume of laughter at his misfortune. Before he could even think to get himself out, he could feel two people grab at his waist and pull him out by it, and was shocked to see Naruto and Kiba were the ones who pulled him out though still suffering from fits of giggles, they were somewhat calmer than they had been, as they puled him fro the eyes of the crowd he saw Chouji and Sakura standing behind the prankster pair stifling giggles of their own, and Chouji with that damned camera still locked on to him.

Later when he had gotten changed and they were all at Naruto's freinds house, Gaara? Anyway he asked why they pulled him out of the drum as they obviously wanted him to humiliate himself by having him entering the contest in the first place.

"Dude we never thought you'd go through with it." Was Kiba's reply as he still laughed at the inncident.

--+--

"And that is basically what happened." finished Naruto, sat on Sasuke's lap in his room. " we still have the tape." she said with a raised eyebrow, he shook his head smiling, the closest to laughing out loud he was going to get, instead he leaned in and kissed her in the cheek and then left a trail of butterfly kisses across her jawline. "why did you ask anyway?" she asked her face going a little red from where he was kissing, her skin had always been sensitive to touch.

"Just curious, make a guy feel left out when you talk a bout something he doesn't know about." he explained as though it was obvious, which it probably was to anyone but Naruto, she was too naive for her own good. he kissed her again on the mouth this time.

**_END!!- _**_okay well if you want sasufemnaru action then read crush or search another fic cos i'm not anymore as i have already said this is a side fic to crush, my other fic which is a sasufemnaru... please reveiw and tell me what you think!!_


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